Sleuth-sayer...

Here I am at work on a quiet Tuesday afternoon, and Liz and I were just IMing back and forth. She called me Beckster, and it triggered in me a distant and off the wall memory. Roadster. That's right, folks. Roadster. The kind of car Nancy Drew drove in all those "pull the covers up to your chin and read till you can't reads no more" thrillers (or tame children's mystery books). Man, I have loved to read ever since I was little, and I definitely collected ALL (or what I thought was all until I did some research before writing this post) of her mystery books. Blue hardcover, baby! As it turns out, the blue hardcover books make up numbers 1-38 of 173....I was close?

What was it about this girl-detective that had me so enamoured? Was it the spare change of cute clothes she kept in the trunk of her roadster...."just in case?" Was it the empowering idea of a girl solving these unsolvable mysteries? Paving the way for other, smaller sleuths (liken to myself)? Was it her dreamboat boyfriend, Ned Nickerson, or her best friend Bess Marvin? Or even her father, attorney Carson Drew? Who knows?! I just know I loved her and her crime solving ways! I won't pretend that anyone else wants a complete list of all the books I had, but my favorite one was #2 The Hidden Staircase, and my favorite title was #3 The Bungalow Mystery. Don't you just love the word bungalow? It's so dang cute! It's what I would categorize as a "chubby word." It doesn't necessarily have to MEAN chubby, though it sometimes does. Like spelunking, plump (obviously), boots, jovial, podgy, robust, etc... I guess most of the words I think are chubby have an "uh" sound in them. Interesting.

Anyway. Nancy Drew. Those eyes.

Little Lamb...

Today is my sister Rachel's 16th birthday. I can't believe it!! Show her some love!

Parton me, sir...

So J-Ro, Jessawill, Alex (who shall henceforth be called "Julie") went to go see Dolly Parton on Thursday last. I meant to post about this Friday when it was all fresh in my mind, but work simply wouldn't allow it! I had people to save......what?

Anyhoot, I don't know how many of you (who?) are Dolly Parton fans, but I've been a convert circa.....2001ish. Waaaaay too late, if you ask me. I mean, of course I knew that she sang 9 to 5 (thank YOU Designing Women, specifically Charlene - as upon remembering this show, I went to a website to make sure I got the character names right, and was then prompted to find out "which Designing Woman" I am), and of course there was "I Will Always Love You," which Bobby B's lady made so Bodyguardily recognizable. But after that, the only real association I made with Dolly Parton was her extreme.........blessedness and her big 80s hair.

I remember the moment when, we'll call it "the change," happened. I was riding in the car with J-Ro and as we were selecting our background music for the ride, she said she'd put in Dolly Parton's greatest hits. "Blasphemer!" I cried! "No way!" She, per usual, ignored me and popped the disc in. Instantly, the haunting melody of Jolene began to play, and there were no two ways about it. I was smitten. Then of course, there were the songs that confirmed my love, i.e. Bargain Store, Coat of Many Colors, These Old Bones, and My Tennessee Mountain Home.....the list goes on. She's just freaking great!

She told stories about most all her songs before she played them, and she's so cute that I just wanted to pinch her little surgically altered cheeks and put her in my pocket! Along with saying "anyhow" about every 12-17 seconds, here are a few quotes from her concert:

"Howdy ya'll, I hope I don't kill myself comin' down these stairs!" - opening of the show

"I bet ya'll are impressed that I'm playin' this solo on the guitar, it's really hard!" - while playing said solo

"I bet ya'll wonder how I play with these nails. I just had to figure it out!"

"I just don't shut up!" *insert high pitched raucous laugh* - after telling another story

"Now this won't hurt me, but some woman in Korea is screwed!" - while trying to remove a strand of hair (wig) from her lip gloss

In addition to Dolly's gloriousness, we had a little pre-show entertainment from this guy standing right behind us talking to one of the staff at Nokia. It was a conversation straight out of Best in Show (or any Christopher Guest movie for that matter). This guy kept talking in a slow, thick southern accent about how the seating chart online was misleading.

"It makes you think your seats are below the boxes, when really they're above the boxes instead. Now we're comin' to see Gretchen Wilson and our seats are in row L. Do you think that would be above the boxes or below the boxes?"

"You know, it's a good thing Dolly's going on at 9:30, because if she went on at 8 like it says on the tickets, well there's people parkin' on the grass out there, and they'd be comin' in and she'd already be playin' cause it's after 8 now."

Oh, sweet sweet Dolly concert. I pine! I perish until we meet again!

Oh, plus "Julie" bought us all dinner! Thanks, Julie!!

High collar and baggy pants say "I'm a pro!"

So it's finally December. And it most certainly doesn't look like this picture of 'December' I found on ye olde internet. The temperature here in the Dallas/Fort Worth area has been remarkably inconsistent, and I can go from wearing my down, fur-rimmed coat to a t-shirt in the span of a day. I guess I can't really complain about it, because if I truly cared enough about experiencing actual "seasons" I know I'd have to move out of this red red hot hot state. We've still got the rest of this month, January and February to see if Texas is going to realize that it's winter and we shouldn't still have to use the air conditioner. Sheesh, Texas. Come on!

Now that it's December, I have precisely 30 and 1/2 days to decide what to resolve to do with my life next year. Last year I resolved to further embrace my femininity, and I must say I'm on my way. No more are the days of going to thrift stores with this thought in mind:

"I don't care what size it is...if it's funny, I'm buying it!"

My friends helped me out last birthday by getting me "girly" things.....things that sparkle, things that are shiny, and things that make me 2-3 inches taller than I am. Through all this I was able to find a balance between sequin girl in stilettos and Becki feeling comfortable whilst also passing off as a "Daughter of Eve." *reading Chronicles of Narnia to refresh me memory ere the movie comes out!* I think I've done okay.

Fa la la la la, la la...la...la

Over the past... *counting*... 8 years or so, I've gotten into a habit of concluding emails with my first name, my last name, and betwixt the two, some (hopefully) clever moniker that represents my general lightheartedness. Right. For example:
---
Sincerestly,
Becki "two toes" Phares

p.s. I have more than two toes.
---
That's an old favorite. Well here on my blog for MILLIONS (I counted) to see, I've decided to compile a list of holiday signatures I can use that amuse me, and - if all is right with the world - my recipients. Now keep in mind, I've given no prior thought to what these might be, so if the list is short or bad, I think we'll all just need to calm down. *peering knowingly over bifocals*

Beck "the Halls" Phares
Beck "nuts roasting on an open" Phares
Rebecca "have yourself a Pharey little Christmas" P-hares
Oh little town of ReBethelehem
Rebecki "oh come all ye" Pharesful
Becki "Christmas is on December 25th" Phares
Reba "I'll silent YOUR night" Phares
Becki "demons outside, good luck inside!" Phares <--- Japanese saying I found online! Yoink!
Becki "all the world should be taxed" Phares
Rebecca "would be born a virgin" Phares
Becki "swaddling clothes" Phares

And, I'm spent. Any suggestions are welcome. Happy almost December.

*fin*

ebony and her ivory...

I recently just got off the phone with my most recent (and most prettiest) roommate, Erin......or as I like to refer to her - the ebony to my ivory, hence the title of this post. We hadn't seen each other since the Walkmen concert, so we certainly had some catching up to do.

We talked for a while, and upon expressing my dismay that we haven't talked in so long, she informed me that she's been a little pre-occupied, as she has now obtained........a man. This is BIG news, guys. Erin is ridiculously cool, so any "man" of hers has to also be ridiculously cool, and manly. Post-asking all the questions a good friend asks about any men that enter the picture, I got to the one that is going to make or break my approval concerning this relationship.......I know you know what I'm talking about ladies. "Does he like rock music?"

She replied, thankfully that he does, though he prefers rock of the classic persuasion, which is fantastic with me - I was raised on the stuff. (Gotta give a shout out to my dad for that one - Yo Pops! REPRESENT!)

......HOWEVER......

He's not much into the indie rock scene, and I say, to each his own. Erin started telling me a story of an outing to a cd store they romantically shared recently. She was perusing the cd racks, trying to get away with not telling him what she was there to buy, for fear of being chastised. Finally, when she could avoid it no longer, she had to tell him that she was looking for the newest Coldplay album (X & Y). He naturally shook his head and said, "Uh uh." She was like, "What? They're really good!" And his response makes me approve of him all the more, as honesty in any relationship is key...

"Coldplay is for suicidal white girls."

Shwew! Good thing I bought my tickets!

4:48 p.m. and counting...

As I embark on my 7th or 8th fruit roll up (lost count - I could look in my trash can, but I don't want to feel bad about myself), 3rd string cheese, and first Holiday 2005 coke that I told myself I wouldn't have...I think we can all agree that it's been a long Monday. After all, I don't usually write make two posts in one day, do I? Hmmm....?

I've also played COUNTLESS (see: so numerous as to be unable to apply numerical value to) games of SNOOD, and if you don't know what that is, you're better off. Every (slow) day I tell me-self that I'm not going to have a coke, I'll limit myself to 1 fruit roll up, and that I most certainly won't play SNOOD. And every day, I realize I'm a person lacking one admirable character quality: will power. But only on the little things! I'm really pretty good at the big stuff, I promise... Like, for example, I'm good at not burning down everything I see. I'm also good at not crashing my car (and/or a golf cart) into inanimate objects on purpose. See? I'm good at the big things.