Parton me, sir...

So J-Ro, Jessawill, Alex (who shall henceforth be called "Julie") went to go see Dolly Parton on Thursday last. I meant to post about this Friday when it was all fresh in my mind, but work simply wouldn't allow it! I had people to save......what?

Anyhoot, I don't know how many of you (who?) are Dolly Parton fans, but I've been a convert circa.....2001ish. Waaaaay too late, if you ask me. I mean, of course I knew that she sang 9 to 5 (thank YOU Designing Women, specifically Charlene - as upon remembering this show, I went to a website to make sure I got the character names right, and was then prompted to find out "which Designing Woman" I am), and of course there was "I Will Always Love You," which Bobby B's lady made so Bodyguardily recognizable. But after that, the only real association I made with Dolly Parton was her extreme.........blessedness and her big 80s hair.

I remember the moment when, we'll call it "the change," happened. I was riding in the car with J-Ro and as we were selecting our background music for the ride, she said she'd put in Dolly Parton's greatest hits. "Blasphemer!" I cried! "No way!" She, per usual, ignored me and popped the disc in. Instantly, the haunting melody of Jolene began to play, and there were no two ways about it. I was smitten. Then of course, there were the songs that confirmed my love, i.e. Bargain Store, Coat of Many Colors, These Old Bones, and My Tennessee Mountain Home.....the list goes on. She's just freaking great!

She told stories about most all her songs before she played them, and she's so cute that I just wanted to pinch her little surgically altered cheeks and put her in my pocket! Along with saying "anyhow" about every 12-17 seconds, here are a few quotes from her concert:

"Howdy ya'll, I hope I don't kill myself comin' down these stairs!" - opening of the show

"I bet ya'll are impressed that I'm playin' this solo on the guitar, it's really hard!" - while playing said solo

"I bet ya'll wonder how I play with these nails. I just had to figure it out!"

"I just don't shut up!" *insert high pitched raucous laugh* - after telling another story

"Now this won't hurt me, but some woman in Korea is screwed!" - while trying to remove a strand of hair (wig) from her lip gloss

In addition to Dolly's gloriousness, we had a little pre-show entertainment from this guy standing right behind us talking to one of the staff at Nokia. It was a conversation straight out of Best in Show (or any Christopher Guest movie for that matter). This guy kept talking in a slow, thick southern accent about how the seating chart online was misleading.

"It makes you think your seats are below the boxes, when really they're above the boxes instead. Now we're comin' to see Gretchen Wilson and our seats are in row L. Do you think that would be above the boxes or below the boxes?"

"You know, it's a good thing Dolly's going on at 9:30, because if she went on at 8 like it says on the tickets, well there's people parkin' on the grass out there, and they'd be comin' in and she'd already be playin' cause it's after 8 now."

Oh, sweet sweet Dolly concert. I pine! I perish until we meet again!

Oh, plus "Julie" bought us all dinner! Thanks, Julie!!