Wednesday, November 02, 2005

feeling anxious...?

Do you ever feel anxious and don't know why? I do. In fact I do right now. Well, actually, I think I probably would know why if I let myself think about it for longer than the time it takes my brain to say "NO! Remember how you don't want to think about why you're anxious because then you'll have to deal with it! NO-HOOOOOO!"

Let's do some therapy, okay? I'm going to try to think about all (or most of) the things I'm anxious about, and write them down. We'll do this together, you and I.

1. My final electricity bill from my old apartment. I was going to just pay the whole thing because I don't want the first call to my friend/old roommate in a month to consist of asking for money, but the bill is too much, and though I could pay it, I'd also like to eat between now and two weeks from now.
2. The medical bill totalling $723.80 for BLOODWORK to figure out what the heck was wrong with me over a year ago that my beautiful Blue Cross Blue Shield was supposed to cover but didn't that has now gone to collections. BLOODWORK!! I'm now waiting to hear back from the collections agency with a breakdown of the bill so I can YET AGAIN submit it to BCBS so they'll take responsibility for this bill that's not mine to pay. I thought the worrying happened when you DIDN'T have insurance.
3. Everything financially related, apparently:
-plane ticket to Wichita.
-saving money for a computer that I'm already paying a DSL bill for - nevermind that there's no device in my house that will connect me to this internet for which I'm paying monthly. Plus the transfer charge!! WOOHOO!
4. Buying those new designer pumps that are simply a must have for the post-daylight savings time season!
5. Buying that new designer purse that doesn't match, but compliments said pumps.
6. Reminding myself that I don't buy designer anything.
7. Hoping that one day I'll marry an accountant who would absolutely RELISH the opportunity to balance the checkbook and pay all the bills. DELISH!
8. Worrying that I'll keep double booking my evenings (even though I'm really trying to incorporate a calendar into my life that I'll actually check) and making people feel like they're not important. I hate this feeling.

Maybe I should watch this.


Anonymous said...

that much for bloodwork??? i just had bloodwork done.. and the dr also thought it was necessary to take 2 chest xrays and do an ekg.... can't wait for that bill... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Becki, where've you been? i miss you...

christian said...

anonymous was me.. sorry..